Anonymous asked: Now he wants to hang out! He seems nice but still kind of interested. He has asked me to 'hang out' not 'date' which seems benign but I really distrust guys. I feel uncomfortable but don't know how to be like can't we just have a hi/bye relationship every time I swipe my card at the gym?

You need to figure out for yourself what you really want first. You told him that you didn’t want to date him because you want to get to know him first before you can decide such thing and he’s giving you what you asked for, but yes, he’s probably still interested or else he wouldn’t have asked you out in the first place. Hanging out is one of the most casual things you can do with a guy to get to know him. If you don’t want to hang out with him and only have a hi/bye relationship it means that perhaps you don’t like him enough to even want to know more about him and that’s perfectly fine too. Or has it really to do with those trust issues? Does your distrust come from previous experiences with your boyfriend(s) or dates, perhaps you should give yourself some time to heal and move on. Does your distrust come from something deeper, for example because your parents divorced, then maybe you can go to a psychologist to try to deal with the trust issues or maybe you can try to talk to someone close to you about it. You have to keep in mind that you don’t have to trust anyone from the start. I think trust should be earned so you shouldn’t feel like it’s weird of you to not trust him or his intentions. The most important thing is that you need to be comfortable about your choice. If making him come closer than a hi/bye relationship freaks you out, then you can keep him on the distant you want with your body language and words. If you decline to chill with him a couple of times or you don’t stay to talk to him for long for example, he will get the hint. To be honest it was really hard to advice you on this because I want to give you the best advice that I can give but it was difficult because you brought up the trust issues which is something very delicate and personal. If there’s anything else you want to talk about or you have more questions I’m always here. If you come off anon I will always answer privately, just see for yourself what you’re more comfortable with. xx